Give us a shout when supper's ready, Gilly.

This thread isn't going quite the way I intended..........

i just skipped to the end. i don teven know what this threads about

Tea's ready.










See, you bloody heard that alright, didn't you!

Bout bloody time. It's nearly 11pm......

Can you fetch me a glass of water whilst your in the kitchen please?

Gilly wrote:
G'day Gilly.

This is a scientifically documented inbuilt defense mechanism specific to the male of the species and when it occurs he actually is asleep. This effectively can occur at the drop of a hat. There are known causes that have been recorded, though it ONLY occurs 100% of the time with one triggering mechanism. This one triggering mechanism has been given the scientific name of 'the complaint tone', which is known to emit from the vocal ranges specific to the female of the species, and registers at 666 Hz.

It is said, that with practice, someday women will replace anesthetic requirements in operations. Eventually it is hoped that this vocal range specific to the female of the species can be utilised to stop wars from occurring by putting both sides of the war asleep before a shot is fired. Of course, this won't stop female troops, as the female of the species appears to be immune to the specific effects of the 666 Hz range that affects the male in such a dramatic way. There has been some testing for a specific Hz range that will effectively 'silence' a female, though this range has yet to be found, scientists are hopeful that a breakthrough will occur.

So, you see Gilly, this is actually your own fault because you must be hitting the 666 Hz range, 'the complaint tone', when speaking with males.

dreamweaver wrote:
She hasn't got a chicken 'in' again, has she?

Gilly wrote:
See, it's this bit ^^^ I don't understand, Gilly. I know the rest of you post is true and perfectly scientifically proveable; but it's just bit ^^^^ Where did you get that bit ^^^^ from?

let me know when this thread gets back on topic about boobies.

batou wrote:
In truth, batz, it never really left that subject - did it?

cantata wrote:
G'day Cantata.

This is a common side effect in the female species of the 666 Hz frequency ... not understanding that is. The continued emitting of the 666 Hz frequency appears to create a short circuit of the neuron connectivity associated with cognition with the emitter of the said frequency. This appears to become heightened with a specific ritual ... that of marriage. Once a female of the species goes through the marriage ritual, then the neural pathways for cognition (understanding) appear to dissipate to a detri-mental level that inhibits rational social interaction with the male species.

For the time being, it appears that it's something that you are going to have to put up with, sort of like Alzheimer's, until a cure can be found for it. Not to worry though, the male of the species is known for unlimited generosity and will in all likelihood be understanding of the condition that you suffer from.

Gilly wrote:
Sorry, I've arrived late, but this happens in our house all the time. Not just with Mr Pumpshaft, but with Master Pumshaft too!

cantata wrote:
Yes, it was a gross exaggeration now that I come to think of it, since my husband's conversational responses largely consist of grunts with the occasional derisive snort.

He's openly admitted that he doesn't 'listen' in the conventional way. This is absolutely true btw. He claims to just listen out for key words within a sentence only, and block out the rest of what's said. A bit like scanning a written passage with your eyes, he scans a verbal passage with his ears.

The problem, as I see it, is that when his brain then attempts to reconstruct the information conveyed, based solely on those 'key words', into some kind of meaningful idea, his interpretation is rarely accurate. So, for example, "We're visiting my mum this afternoon", is interpreted as, "Do you fancy a leg-over. I wish to spoon-feed you truffles. Shall I massage your feet" - that kind of thing. The brain works in mysterious ways.

Here's another factual illustration of what goes on.

Several years ago, I was on a residential training course for five days.

Three weeks after returning from this, we had this conversation...

Me: "Shall we sort the garden out?"

Th'usband: "Oh, that reminds me - when you were away training, someone rang up to say one of your relatives has died."

Me: "Holy shit! Which relative"

Th'usband: "I don't know." *wasn't listening*

Me: "What do you mean you don't know?"

Th'usband: "I don't remember". *wasn't listening*

Me: "Well who rung you?"

Th'usband: "I don't know. I can't remember?"

Me; "Did it not prompt your memory when I asked you if anyone had called for me when I first got back? Or even during
my daily phonecalls"?

Th'usband "Did you?"

(This is the same hero who once took my breath away, by informing me, without any hint of intentional humour, "Thank God we got married. Now we don't need to bother with any of that lovey-dovey crap any more".)

It turned out to have been a distant relative who I hadn't been in touch with for many years, but this serves to show what we're up against in terms of communication.

I've actually witnessed my brother-in-law pretending to be listening to my sister, whilst, I noticed, his hearing-aid was in plain view on the mantle-piece (hence, he couldn't hear a single instruction he was feigning agreement to.

Gilly wrote:
i know exactly how you feel , he feels been there done that.

I meant I don't shave the old ladies' legs anymore.

I'm Anglo-Germanic, y'know. Gotta shave lest people think there's an ape on the loose.

*Think Two Virgins album cover....yeah *



*Actually, better not to think about it*

Coco wrote:
We're off topic, Coco, but I'm hearing you girl. I used to have to cut my Gran's toe-nails and empty her commode.