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TOPIC: Who's the daddy

Who's the daddy 19 May 2012 21:43 #1

  • andyh
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Spotted this somewhere else and I just couldn't resist putting it here :D


The following are all replies that Manchester women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing "father's details" or putting it another way....Who's the Daddy?

These are genuine excerpts from the forms.....


1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 360 East Bolton Avenue where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was imaculat and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise...

7. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well, I don't have clue.

8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro-Disney; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom

9. So much about that night is a blur, the only thing that I remember for sure is Gordon Ramsey did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 56 Miller St , mine might have remained unfertilized.

10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.
“Fascists are not human. A snake is more human.” - Hugo Chávez
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Re: Who's the daddy 19 May 2012 22:57 #2

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:roflha:

I needed that andy... thank you SO very much :spliff:
the anorak hides the fact that sean is composed of 95% vaginas
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Re: Who's the daddy 19 May 2012 23:16 #3

  • wake_up_bomb
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As I used to work for the CSA (what I did in a past life to deserve this, I don't know) I also know some stories, a couple particularly stick in my mind. Whether I should post them in a public forum is debatable! But I could possibly discuss them in chat sometime.
The true measure of a man is not his intelligence or how high he rises in this freak establishment. The true measure of a man is this: how quickly he can respond to the needs of others and how much of himself he can give - Philip K. Dick.
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Re: Who's the daddy 20 May 2012 17:54 #4

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Very funny. :chuckle:
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Re: Who's the daddy 20 May 2012 19:03 #5

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No.10 sounds like a classy sort!
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Re: Who's the daddy 20 May 2012 19:39 #6

  • Kumatora
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I was coughing and almost choked on my cereal!! Damn you, andy! :P

This is pretty funny!!
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Re: Who's the daddy 20 May 2012 20:13 #7

  • boywonder
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LOL !! classic mate nice one!

I think I saw number 10 at a party last night :chuckle: :chuckle:
ASBO
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Re: Who's the daddy 20 May 2012 20:47 #8

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boywonder wrote:
LOL !! classic mate nice one!

I think I saw number 10 at a party last night :chuckle: :chuckle:

I'd like to have known number 3 tbh :D
“Fascists are not human. A snake is more human.” - Hugo Chávez
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Re: Who's the daddy 24 May 2012 04:03 #9

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I've laughed so much I almost wet myself and had to quickly go to the how to pee thread to get some tips :omg: :noudiint: :yupgrin:
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Re: Who's the daddy 24 May 2012 06:54 #10

  • Hexhammer
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Hahaha, excellent stuff... :notworthy: :killinme:
The things you leave behind, you find in front of you.
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