cantata wrote:
You wouldn't want to go out with me then

I'll probably be late for my own funeral as they say..

i hate shitty attitudes or when people pussy out of stuff.

K-Bone wrote:
Yes, I wish I would learn that my 'anything for a quiet life' approach can actually prove to be a massive fail.

diamondgeezer wrote:
I have a friend who is a late for everything type guy,he can't be on time,and if he tells you he will be there in thirty minutes that means a hour,I think it may be a control issue with him,and me being the opposite irritates me and brings out my intolerant nature.

Example...... I dropped him off to catch a shuttle bus to the airport,we had plenty of time to get there,but we ended getting there as the bus was pulling off because he had to do this and that, before we left from his place,and he seemed unconcerned with time.

That drives me up the wall

diamondgeezer wrote:
I'm a late type person as well

I get up in good time, get washed etc. in good time, but somehow, somehow always end up being late

If I was meeting a friend I'd be on time though...especially cantata!

I got to a certain meet up about half an hour early as well ended up standing outside the pub for ages

Punctuality is the courtesy of kings. My husband is late for everything, whereas I'm almost obsessively on time - it's got to the point that if we're going out together, I'll set off without him rather than let him make me late when others are waiting.

I've endless patience in some situations, and none at all in others, and can be assertive to the point of aggressiveness.

I'm running a, 'don't put up with poor customer service' campaign right now, because I find that every single company we give our custom to is inexcusably inadequate. They take no pride in what they're doing. They invariably don't turn up to deliver things when you've waited in specially, and don't bother to ring & let you know they're not coming. They take payment for stuff telling you they'll call you when it's in stock in stock in 2 days, and 3 weeks later, you're chasing them up. They mail things to the wrong address because they couldn't be arsed writing down your post-code, so it gets sent to a same-named Grove in a different suburb. Also- Dr's who say they're booking you a consultation with a specialist. You ring weeks later enquiring how much longer it's likely to be before you hear something, only to discover they never sent the freaking referral request in the first place - though they don't know why - so they'll do it now and you should hear something 'in the future'.

What I don't understand is that this has absolutely become the norm. It's not a one off, it's every damned organisation (which is a misnoma).

I give them hell! The commonest 'excuses' are, "These things happen", and "It's to be expected" Well they shouldn't bloody well happen, and you're the one who's supposed to make sure it doesn't. It is NOT expected by those of us handing over our hard-earned cash. It will continue to happen so long as you adopt such a blase attitude. Get it right!

I do understand that sometimes, the employers cut staff-count to the bone, so that efficient service isn't possible and that's not the fault of the individuals doing the job. But I've managed shops for years, and when I put myself in their shoes, and think, "If that was me, would I have at least phoned the customer to let them know there was a delay, and what I was going to do about it?", an the answer is always, "Yes, of course I would".

*Deep breath*

Bastards!

LesleyPumpshaft wrote:
I'm the same, lesley. I'm not very good at dealing assertively with conflict, and I hate feeling I've upset anyone.

I do spend quite a bit of time in my own little world, and sometimes feel a bit "detached" from things. Sometimes it feels "safer" that way, lol!

Mandy

Rick wrote:
I used to be quite patient, the fuse is definitely getting shorter nowadays.
Could just be me turning into an old git though :p

quietgirl wrote:
I hate feeling as though I have upset anyone too, but then I tend to stew on it and this isn't healthy! I can definitely relate to feeling detached and it being safer. It could be something to do with feeling ill and just not having the energy though. Even though I had my kidney sorted, I have always been someone who gets ill and run down very easily (spent lots of time in and out of hospital as a child), and I have wondered many times whether I might have chronic fatigue. Often I feel as though I just don't have the spare energy to deal with things assertively, it seems easier just to 'suck it up' and placate people.

If I'm having some form of confrontation with someone, that takes up my valuable time, time that could be better spent not arguing, etc...so I try to end the thing as soon as I can

irrepressible wrote:
You always come across as a very affable and laidback kind of person.

Rick wrote:
It is a control issue, Rick. Next time, let him walk!

Gilly wrote:
I fear we are very much kindred spirits in this regard, Gilly. Beware, however, for mine is a cautionary tale...

It IS the squeaking gate that gets oiled. Be that for the better or worse.

LesleyPumpshaft wrote:
I am I don't like getting into shit with people, and the I hate the thought that I've upset someone.
I use many techniques to shorten confrontations, deflection, placation, telling them what they want to hear, etc.

If it's an argument or disagreement with a loved one then tht's a different story, I give my time to that to sort things out and clear the air. Strangers on the other hand...that's a different story

In short, I'll give my time to people who I care about and love. And if I'm right in my arguments with them then I'll fight my corner, but I always sort it out with them.

With strangers, my aim is to get them out of my face as soon as

cantata wrote:
Thank you that is a control thing,plus his ego,and many other foul irritating way's I actually pity the woman who he ends up with,and said to him how would a woman tolerate you,because he always talks about wanting to be married.

If he missed the shuttle I would have had to drive him to the airport and listen to him,which would have been a torture.

Rick wrote:
It's unpleasant too in that this kind of person not only doesn't value their own time, they don't value YOUR time either. They assume that you have little else to do with your time and your life other than run around after them, getting them where they couldn't be bothered to get themself; or being so desperate to see and serve them that you'll sit waiting and waiting and waiting, while your own list of Things To Do get shoved aside. Not fekkin likely! Once maybe, never again.

(Unless as I say, it's one of the areas of tolerance. So, standing with a young horse loading into a horse-box for the first time... 10 hours? That's fine! Or waiting for the child to finish talking to a schoolfriend outside the school gates.... right-o. Or taking a sick/injured relative/friend to hospital and waiting until they've been tended - yep).

irrepressible wrote:
I think I know what you mean. If I really care about someone, I'll take them to task over something, but otherwise I couldn't give a monkeys. It just wouldn't be a sensible use of my time and energy.

irrepressible wrote:
And if you remember, I got to said certain meet up at 1pm, an hr and a half late..

diamondgeezer wrote:

well that made no sense