I'm very sorry to hear about this, SB, and extend my condolences to yours & your wife's loss. Your common sense, decency & sense of humour will protect you & yours.
There's plenty of scum around here - and that kind of crap isn't even confined to the youngsters either. Obviously there are decent, 'normal' folk too, but more & more I see the scum taking over. It riles me that they can be causing hassle, shouting, swearing, vomiting, vandalising, fighting etc up & down the street & peeing in other people's gardens etc, while generally, for self-preservation, the decent ones don't raise a word of objection.
I'm not criticising anyone for turning a blind eye either. Who knows what retribution they might suffer for speaking out. And since the police are no help, I don't know what the solution is.
When my son was a baby, a ruffian (grown man) used to visit his in-laws, I think, across the cul-de-sac from me daily at all hours of the day & night, and always blew his car horn in repeated, long blasts instead of getting out of his car & knocking on their door - even at 2am. It'd wake everyone up & start my baby yarping. Then when the oaf who lives there opened the door, instead of them going in, he'd stand on the doorstep, while Smeg would sit in his car with the window wound down, and they'd have shouted, imbecilic conversations, sometimes composed entirely of obscenities.
To illustrate the tone of these, in the early hours of one summer morning, it was Smeg describing graphically to Oaf at the top of his grating voice, how he was going round to some woman's house to smash her face in, and he was going to stuff his fist, up to the elbow, right up her, and make sure she'd never walk again. Although Smeg sounded disturbingly deranged and serious, Oaf found this hilarious, and brayed with laughter till he coughed a lung up by the sounds of it. (I wouldn't care, but I've a feeling it was Oaf's step-daughter they were talking about!!!)
He did the horn thing for about 5 minutes (it seemed like much longer) one afternoon, when my lad was a about 10 months old and very poorly and had had me up all night - I'd finally got him off to sleep. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I went out, and asked him if he would have the courtesy to use the door-bell instead of disturbing everyone within ear-shot.
The language and aggression he responded with was un-be-lievable!!! Including body language, whereby he flung himself out of the car & got right in my face, spitting with hysteria, his clenched fists waving like windmill sails, apart from when he was poking his stumpy, snot-coated finger about 1mm from my eye-ball.
It makes me feel angry when people try to intimidate me, so I suggested he should perhaps consider investing in a penis extension to make him feel more contented with life. I know perfectly well that this is not a wise course of action, but I was so sick to the back teeth of him, and of the way nobody ever challenged him, instead, meekly tolerating his incessant encroachment on their peace & quiet. Plus, I was frazzled through sleep-deprivation.
Most of the people in the cul-de-sac are elderly couples btw. Though there was a young family with babies living next door to Oaf.
His eyes bulged out of his purple head, and he was shrieking insults, and he jumped back into his car. I turned round to go inside, when he suddenly aimed his vehicle at me, and gunned it onto the pavement, so that I had to dive sideways into my privet to avoid being hit. He cleared off, but later, when I was walking to the corner shop, he came by again, and again mounted the curb, aiming at me - still screaming expletives through his open window - and this time with some bloke sat in the passenger seat, falling about laughing at what was happening and egging him on.
I reported it to the police. Having established that I had no witnesses, and he hadn't actually slit my throat, they announced that it was a matter for the community policeman, who only works on Wednesdays.
So a few Wednesdays later, the community policeman phoned me. He asked questions, and on determining that Smeg hadn't touched me, but still made a point (more so than ever) of leaning on his horn at all hours - not to mention, shouting threats & foulness at me at every opportunity - he stated that it is against the law to use your car horn unless it's to avert a road accident, after 11pm.
I asked if it was against the law to issue threats of murder & mutilation, and to drive at people on pavements. He said yes, but I'd need witnesses or wounds - preferably both - before they could question him about that. So the recommendation was to keep a diary of the times he sounded his horn, and if a pattern in the timings emerged, he'd then try to be there to hear it for himself at a time it was likely to happen.
Smeg would only shout his threats at me when he saw that my husband's car wasn't in the drive. Which is actually most of the time, due to the gruelling hours he works.
Here's something else that hacks me off about it though.
He once took a few steps towards me from across the road, with a threatening demeanour, as I stepped out of my house. Th'usband's car was in for an MOT though, and when he walked out behind me, Smeg absolutely crapped himself. Th'usband's 6 foot 3, with the dimensions of a brick out house, and almost super-human strength. Smeg quite literally shrunk and went white as a sheet. As he scuttled away, his fear left a trail of stench!
But my husband is a pacifist, and quite smart. He knew what had been going on, of course, but his attitude was, "Yes, I could rip him in half, but it'll be me who goes to prison, and what if him & his mates take revenge by getting you or the kids properly?" Thing is, he's absolutely right. I know it. But I can't explain just how intensely I wanted him to slide that bastard up a lamp-post by the throat. I felt bitterly disappointed.
I love Feather for not fearing others' access to guns, but distrusting himself if they were easily obtained.
I approve of Bat's advice.
And I hope you and your family stay safe.
