I had clinical depression years ago, I took anti depressants for it. The crap I've most recently been suffering from off and on, is reactive depression I reckon.
I never want the clinical kind ever again, it was horrendous, I wouldn't wish that shite on my worst enemy.

The Mind Game - Book
by Phillip Day
Phillip Day's original expose of the shocking origins and practices used in the 'treatment' of mental health is as stunning as it is absorbing. From the outset, it is clear that the World of mental health is not what we expected and that psychiatry is somewhat less than scientific in its diagnosis, management and treatment of mental health problems.
Like Health Wars, A World Without AIDS and Cancer - why we're still dying to know the truth, The Mind Game spares no punches, from the origins of psychiatry in the concentration camps of Nazi Germany to the invention of new 'diseases' at the whim of a group of self-appointed 'experts' in mental health.

Like Day's other books, he lays the blame squarely at the feet of an industry whose sole purpose is to increase drug sales - the pharmaceutical industry. He explains how the whole setup of modern medicine is dedicated to that end and how 'diseases' only come into existence when a potential 'treatment' (note, never a 'cure') has been discovered.

Phychiatric or phychological disease can be devastating. To know that much of what is touted as disease is either plain bunkum or an excuse for drug treatment is to open yourself to the possibility of other causes and other ways of managing the problem.

Ths book is fundamental reading for those with an interest in mental health - either their own or that of a loved one. It goes without saying that it will not be accepted well by the establishment it so deftly exposes!

This is very interesting topic, one too close to my heart, This is the reason why I chose the name BLACK CLOUD



Because thats what it is a darkness , Black Cloud, also known as The Black Dog hanging over you day in day out and no end in sight no light at end of a tunnel

About three years ago I spent about 12-16 Weeks in a Psych Ward being laced up on maxium dosage for a human guinea pig could endure citalopram ,diazepram , Sodium Valproate. can't recall what dosage I was on to be exact but it was the maxium dosage .Even tried Venlafaxine its a Anti depressive that stuff is the pits

And these psychiatric doctors expected me to cope sustain a normal life go to work, under a heavy influence of narcotics
My depression or more like the Black Cloud hanging over me has been with me all of my adult life off and on at different times through my life , I have been diagnosed with about two different types of Depression Bipolar, and a Deep depression with a touch of a depressive mood,
Some of the people who work in these places are like Wtf, I mean like double face palm these Psych Nurses Jesus H Christ , I remember one nurse saying to me one night , If I committed suicide I wouldn't get into heaven, I was like I could not believe it what i had just heard
I felt like taking her up to the top floor, nine stories up, and actually seeing how close to her god she was,
but thats enough of that..

I have had the mental health act used on me about three times now, thats where they use the police, a doctors signature to get you a psychological assesment done, on you they turn up when you're having your main meal. upset the whole family and I'm like what the fuck is going on, I recon alot of these peebs get of on it
If I don't co-operate I get arrested, when I go with them cause i've got no choice i've got family and such
One time it was a friday night, i was assessed bagged, and stuffed my bag searched for Drugs, I was forced drugged shoved in a room, door locked they can detain you for seven days without seeing anyone

When i did my three month stint, I was in solitary confinement not even allowed outside for fresh air, ffs i found out later they forgot about me , thats true they said I could be a flight risk
during these times I have had my premises searched by the coppers,
Its not a nice thing to be in when you are so low, having the Black Dog in your life hanging over you , its really hard to undrstand or grasp of why this happens to people whether its failure, Money, Financial Strife, Loss, of Pets, Loved Ones or Just failing life full stop...
I've Tried all different types of ways to beat it , lift the Black Cloud , Kick the Black Dog change of diet, Natural Remedies, Having My House blessed , and beleive it. I even voluntered to do, Electric shock theorpy .. And even to the extent of having a Mild Exorcism done on me, I've been to Clairvoyants, Ghost Writers, People who do Tarot Reading to get help

But the scariest thing was the Ghost Writer no shit someone who I've never met before, told me stuff fuck N hell they had never been in my house before, but thats another story for another day

Here's a psketti hug for my edge of the world kiwi friend
Black Cloud wrote:
I look forward to it

It's your genuine insanity BC which has always made me feel ok with being insane too.......Who wants a straight cucumber.........Not me

you guys have all been through some shit hey. i wish i can offer my hand and help you up. but you know, if anyone needs to talk to someone, we are all here. it happened before, it will happen again im sure.

psketti wrote:
I wan't to hear the Ghost Writer story also...

When I was a kid i watched the Never Ending Story and this is what i took from it about The Nothing...

Depression is the Nothing, once quality of life in the world gets so bad that enough people lose hope it's all over.

Another appointment tomorrow , its possibly going to be up two 2 hrs long , actually finally I will get a diagnosis finally after all these years ,

I'm trying to decide how to write my dealings with a ghost writer and the, hornets nest , supernatural happenings with out sounding to outlandish or excaggerated Hollywood bullshit

Break a leg, and remember never mention voices, seeing shit etc, stick with your brain is as mundane as a newspaper crossword.

Black Cloud wrote:
Hope it all goes well for ya lad

MrsGood wrote:
I'm afraid its not as simple as that...

I'm curious to hear about these super­nat­ural hap­pen­ings black cloud...

Put a person with depression on a tropical Island with a partner they love and would enjoy having sex with.

Come back in a few days and see if they still feel depressed.

I just don't understand how a person with a chemical imbalance is considered depressed.

Maybe chronically fatigued, but depressed? It just doesn't make sense to me.

So love and sex on a tropical island is the cure for depression? Can we get this on the NHS?

"Doctor, I'm err...depressed and that...I prefer brunettes btw".

irrepressible wrote:


It's ok irre, RA has the answers to all the worlds problems and one day he will save us all from ourselves.


@cloud... how did it go lad?

I can categorically state that desert island shagging would be no cure for clinical depression, bi polar or anything like them.
Nice idea ra and i'm all for irre lobbying the nhs to enact his idea but it aint an answer to this riddle.

There's being pissed off, and feeling a bit down and sad about your life, and then there's clinical depression.

With clinical depression, everything changes, often overnight. That's how it happened with me. I went to bed, then woke up in the morning, it was like I'd been hit by a truck. Terror, the most profound feeling of sadness, even the atmosphere changed, kind of like a filter had been put over my eyes that washed everything out. Everything had a distance about it, faded.
I closed my eyes, boom! giant head rush...memories, conversations, all kinds of images and sounds flooded into my ravaged brain all at once. I went to bed and woke up fucking nuts, it's as simple as that.
My mum phoned a taxi and put me in it and got in after me, we went to the docs, he talked, my mum talked, I cried.
Then I had about 6 months of the most incredible sadness and crying, I couldn't find joy or enjoyment in anything...I had loads of fucked up symptoms, it felt like I had no head at one point Just a horrific time.

Good old PS3 I would have elaborated further, and painted a fuller picture, but not for shitty technology

Even with the character limitation, i think you painted a pretty clear picture irre