I think I'm going to have my hands full with my youngest. 11, and I've found him watching porn (very resourceful, as it's supposed to be blocked on my laptop) and Friday, caught him in the gin! Going to have to lock everything away out of his reach. Bugger'll be smoking a hookah next!

Mrs B's folks have just bought us a car.... !
Our lives are about to improve drastically...

Well it's gonna be better than having to worry about teenagers anyway. If that ever happens I'll be mid-fifties... oh shit!

Gilly wrote:

Think? Damn, 11's young, has to be said... a chancer's what ya got there woman

Mines 14 and I've been keeping 20 eyes on things for a while as all her age seem to be at it so I knew it was coming. Doubt its the first she's had either but its the first for being caught so it will be all fun and games from here on in... "sighs*... not looking forward to the 'girl thing' to be honest but its not like I got a choice

Space Bandit wrote:

Screw that... leave it as long as possible and that ways there's every chance you'll be a senile old cunt by the time the teenager thing comes around


Good news about the car

psketti wrote:
We've already left it as late as possible. Now it's not as easy as thought....
Never mind senile... I'll be long gone!

psketti wrote:
Pretty much my plan.

oioioi wrote:


Wish you luck but you're gonna be cutting it thin

Teenagers are the cause of senility.

Boy's got a girl-friend at school. They're texting each other constantly, and skyping when I'm in the other room. He shuts the screen down whenever I walk in, and I hear her bossy voice demanding to know where he's disappeared to.

I knew he'd need watching. At the age of 5, he'd be peering out of the window at the little girl over the road, giving it, "Hmm hmm! Bethany's looking nice & bonnie in pig-tails today. Is there any chocolate I can take for her?"

Bit OT with where thread has been going, but stumbled across this with my morning brew

The day my son and his now ex girlfriend decided to mix vodka and gin then throw up in spectacular fashion all over his bedroom was a fun day

Paramedics were called and I had a naked 18 year girl lying in my bathtub

I told him then and there I will not put up with that..

He's never been drunk again.
Not because he listened to me but I think he just gave himself a huge fright and puked for 36 hours

So your son is an f'n lightweight?

At that age I'd puke up on the floor so I could skid across it instead of walk.... while balancing 10 pints on me nose.

dawnbreak wrote:

My firstborn did the spectacular thing first time around too at the age of 15... spent a night being violently sick and he too hasn't drank since and he's now 22.
Works for me that it turned out that way

psketti wrote:
Cantona know's why, but my folks decided to have a brand new ,mustard coloured ,carpet layed . It ran from the downstairs hall, up the stairs onto the landing, then upstairs hall, loo, and bathroom. Tacky? YES, but it was the seventies. I had been drinking Pernod and Blackcurrant by the pint and decided to redecorate the carpet that night.

My Mum beat me over the head , repeatedly, while I was still asleep, with a hoover. Any clues where I fucked up would be helpful

jhado wrote:
Jinx!

I also did that at home the first time I went home steaming, was horrendously sick, pernol and blackcurrant all over mine and my sisters room... and I also got a fucking hiding for it at the time... whats the odds

I haven't touched that combination of drink since.

psketti wrote:
Even the thought of Pernod makes me call for Hughie now........