You might not see it but I am a sensitive soul. I have been in physical fights but what hurts me more is the cut made by words.

The thing with the internet is that some people put it all out there and bare there souls to the world. You see it a lot on you tube where people reveal their fears etc and comment section bullies will rally in with their hurtful words. Now I have been online a long time(good insult material there if you mention my lack of a life). You have to develop a thick skin.

I did just get called a gutless liar which annoys me because I think of myself as honest. I wouldn't say I was brave but hardly gutless.

So anyway what is the best way to handle such things
Is a cutting insult the best way to deal with harsh words? Do you prefer physical fights or words?


I think the main problems come from communication errors. Misunderstandings based on tone etc online. Things get out of hand easily. Also if you don't see a person it is easier to insult them.

I happen to like the word cunt in such scenarios I-b.
Although witty comebacks are also useful

It's hardly surprising, given the subjects we regularly talk about, that passions can run high and tempers can flair. We're none of us perfect.

There's no such thing as an insult, there are cutting truths and wild lies, nowt else.

There's no cut that hurts me more, than the one I might make myself, through tactlessness, insensitivity, stupidity. I don't like upsetting people, online, or in real life.
I've been a bit hurt by comments on occasion, it mostly just makes me angry and want to have an online scrap though usually, especially if it's a bloke. I've only ever swore at a woman once, told her to piss off, turned out she was a bloke though

If I'm on the receiving end of harsh words, I'll take a few moments to chew it over, to see if the person might be right, if it turns out they're wrong, I'll refute their claims vociferously, but respectfully (usually).
I don't think there's many disagreements that can't be sorted out, although we can't like and get on with everyone, and vice versa.

I try to keep my online interactions to the same standard as my offline ones.

I attempt to be courteous and respectful - profanity, name calling or derision is rarely aimed at another poster, If the only response I have to a post is aimed at the poster rather then the content I tend not to take the debate any further - once it has reached that point the only way is downhill imho.

My opinion is my own and is formed through research, experience and gut instinct - not everyone will read the same information and come to the same conclusion as me - we all have different life experiences and bias - if someone disagrees with me it does not mean either of us are right or wrong we are just approaching things differently.

sometimes it is better to say nothing rather then offend someone or be insensitive. just because I have an opinion does not mean that I have to air it if I know it is likely to cause someone else hurt or discomfort. I am not always privy to what goes on in the real lives of people I interact with online so I tend not to make jokes or say things that are likely to offend.

It is more important to me to have the freedom to give my opinion then it is to have people agree with that opinion. I do not need others to agree with me - but my hope is that if I am as respectful and as open to others as I can be others will return that courtesy to me.

Sometimes the best way to deal with the online world is to turn it off and do something positive in the offline one.

if some body makes you feel something they are in control so quit being a whiner and sack up.

batou wrote:
This is the way to look at it, if you come to the realization someone is mean or trying to be controlling hurtful,negative, or they themselves have character flaws or mental conditions, you either stand up for yourself, or get away from the situation, the only other option is to fall into abuse.

When someone cuts you with words the best thing to do is automatically stop and self-assess. Try and see what you did that caused it. Usually you will find that you did something if you try and look at it from the other person's viewpoint. If you want to escalate the disagreement go for the insults.

Personally, one of my pet peeves is someone telling me what I can or cannot talk about or look at or whatever. I make my own decisions on to where I will put my attention and if someone does not understand, well they don't have to.

Also, something that I saw that is subtle, was a few things you said in a thread that I recently heard described elsewhere as emotional blackmail. Which is implying that someone is not being sensitive towards someone else like a grieving father.. In essence, telling someone that they are a bad person for looking at things from a non-emotional standpoint. I think there is always emotional blackmail that goes on and some of it comes from the media, too.

Just don't try to tell people what they should talk about, I think.

P.S. and I just remembered the time I blasted someone on DIF for blasting someone else because they brought up something in a thread that was posted in general and the person did not like the subject being brought up. Made me mad, it did, and I went on loudspeaker

noseymutegirl wrote:
Interesting point you made I have in bold, I never looked at it like that in my first reaction to someone.It's kind of like a peaceful response,or a thoughtful way to look at someone throwing a verbal comment toward you and analyze before you react.
Good thought nosey

I didn't tell anybody they were a bad person. I suggested a more respectful way of questioning grieving parents. I did not emotionally blackmail anybody I don't think. Life is too short to let anything I say get to you. I don't hate too many people. I like the people here. If I question how you conduct yourself it is because I care. Otherwise I might use dubs "cunt" method.

I use the cunt method cos I'm a cunt. I appreciate not everyone is a cunt and therefore some cunts might not deem it to be the method for them

batou wrote:
Especially if they make you feel horny

Well now as they're supposedly suggesting emotions are mental illness, I expect they'll bring out a "cure" in the future for all those pesky feelings. There's a robot inside us all, just waiting to get out

Stupid feelings

Well, how do you suggest would be a more respectful way?

Most people are unable to comunicate with
each other for various reasons,to many to mention.

I don't see this improving in the near future either.

This is a decent forum in respect that people are quite respectful and understanding of the human condition we are all part of.

hope that makes sense.

dubmeup wrote:

noseymutegirl wrote:

This was covered, I believe, in that topic. This is a different topic that simply drew inspiration from that.

I am not sure I have the sway around here to get my topics locked whenever I please.

i-baster wrote:
If you started a thread you can have it locked, I don't agree with it but I ain't arsed enough to seek consensus on reversing this. Ask and ye shall receive (if you're the OP).

Aye wot im ^^ did say.

Although why don't you like the 'right' of the OP to have their thread closed Oi?

dubmeup wrote:
Because I like the SZ style of going way off topic but still being interesting. If I don't like a thread's direction I ignore the thread free in the knowledge that the SZ style means I can throw in what I wanted to say pretty much where I want. Closing a thread just reeks of fingers in ears to me. If I wanted something to be said in my thread I'd say it But that means I have to be prepared to let everyone else post what they want. If it winds me up I have to look at why and address that either via the thread or internally. If a convo doesn't go where I hoped it would I leave the convo, I don't want those wishing to speak more to stop.